- Kate Stockinger grew up in Great Britain and met her current husband in New York.
- The couple raised their two daughters in five cities on four continents before deciding to settle in Minnesota.
- She finds the people in her husband’s home state hospitable, but her children had difficulty settling.
Two truths and a lie. My daughter Freya was ten, it was the first day at her new school in Minnesota, and it was her turn to share, “I’ve lived in five countries and on four continents; I love cheese; I lived in India when I was two years old,” she said.
The classmates debated whether the lie was the number of countries or whether she had lived in India, until she shouted that it was the cheese – she had never been a fan.
In Minnesota, new kids rarely show up, and when they do, they usually come from close range. My family moved to Minnesota in July and it is taking time for my two daughters and I to get settled.
I grew up in Great Britain. I met my now husband Andy during a college internship at a private golf club in New York. He had recently moved to the Big Apple from Minnesota.
We fell in love, got married and soon he started getting job offers at various golf courses around the world. Over the next ten years, we had two daughters, moved five times, and lived in five cities on four continents. After our time in Egypt, and because our oldest daughter wasn’t getting what she needed at her international school, we decided to give up our expat life and move to Minnesota.
We decided that this was where our children needed to live to get the education we wanted for them. Making this leap has been our scariest decision. My husband quit his job and we moved to the US with nothing planned. We were fortunate to have the support of family and friends, both in the US and Britain.
Of course, with all of these changes, there have been some high highs and some low lows.
The last photo Stockinger’s family took in Egypt before they moved. Kate Stockinger
The culture shock started at Target
Stores in the US really have everything, but sometimes there is too much to choose from.
The goal is a place I have to be in the right mood to go to because the variety of chips, yogurt and out-of-season fruit is breathtaking. In countries we’ve lived in before, it was always seasonal and a treat to have berries that weren’t frozen. Recent trips to Target with my kids can take at least an hour as my daughters want to peruse every inch of the store,
I appreciate that I no longer have to pay crazy amounts of money for skin care or shampoo, but now my daughter has discovered an entire aisle dedicated to skin care and makeup for kids.
Children who struggle to fit in
The saying ‘Minnesota Nice’ holds up. Everyone here is so friendly and willing to help. It’s a stark and welcome contrast compared to some of the communities we lived in before.
Despite this, my children have had a hard time adjusting. Freya found it difficult to fit in with the kids at school, as the majority of the kids in her class have been together since Pre-K.
It was heartbreaking to hear her talk about playing alone during recess. When we lived abroad it was easier, because there were always new kids coming, and the schools usually handled them a little better.
Winter is coming
In the past, our vacation visits to Minnesota have typically taken place in the summer. I’ve never experienced a real Minnesotan Winter.
In the words of Anna and Elsa, my daughters and I are absolutely excited to be able to say, “Do you want to build a snowman?” But my husband, his family, and our friends are waiting for our attitudes to change as the daylight hours dwindle and the damp, wet reality of that snow hits. Being forever the optimist, I hope to see the positive even as we face the dull, dark days.
We are proud that our children have started their lives as global citizens and hope to continue their experience by enjoying family vacations once our feet are firmly on the ground. This is the fastest we’ve settled into anything, proving to ourselves that we’re done with expat life and ready to have neighbors on a cul-de-sac.